garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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