put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
