I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
