For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
