she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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