i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
