Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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