whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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