This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize