Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
