hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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