): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
