I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
