I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize