mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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