just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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