The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
