i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
