just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
