I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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