im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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