I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
