And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize