What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
