Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Operation Purity has been aborted
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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