I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
