my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
