so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
