Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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