Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
