New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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