my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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