Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
