I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
