hell yes lets make some ravioli
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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