I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
