the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
