I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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