haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
