We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize