Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize