yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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