I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize