I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
