I faked an abortion last night.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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