She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
