the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Found your dick twin last night
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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