Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
and you fell through a lawn chair
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
