btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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