The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
