You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
