____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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