If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
