my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
