This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
