You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize