I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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