What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Your cock deserves a montage
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
