Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
