I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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