I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Boobs are out for the taking
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
