I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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