Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
pray to the hookup gods
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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