# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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