let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
