You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
