I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize