escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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